Domestic Abuse
Services that are in place to support people experiencing domestic abuse in Southend
Click on the following link to access the Domestic Abuse Booklet
Transcript of the DA Booklet
What is this document about?
This document is for anyone affected by domestic abuse. You may be experiencing it, or worried for a friend or family member, or be working with a colleague or client who you suspect is a victim of abuse in their relationship.
There is more information on what domestic abuse is in section two ‘who does it affect’. Section three can help you to start thinking about what your options are, including how to make a safety plan, who to contact, and how your children may be affected by what is going on.
1. What is domestic abuse?
Domestic abuse is defined as:
Any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members (regardless of gender or sexuality) Usually it is not just one ‘incident’, but a pattern of behaviour over a period of time.
Does your partner or family member:
• Hit you?
• Threaten to hurt you, your children, friends, family, pets, your things or themselves?
• Put you down and make you feel bad about yourself?
• Behave in a jealous and possessive way?
• Control all the money, against your wishes?
• Make you have sex when you don’t want to?
• Humiliate you in front of other people, including your children?
• Criticise you and blame you for everything?
• Tell you that you are a bad parent?
• Control where you go and who you see?
Or are you worried that you will be forced to marry someone?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you may be living with domestic abuse.
This document is here to help you.
Domestic abuse can be psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional. You do not have to be physically harmed to be abused.
If you are a victim of abuse, remember:
• No-one has the right to do this to you
• It is not your fault
• You cannot control another person’s violence and abuse towards you
• The violence and abuse affects your children
• You can contact the agencies in this document for help
• You can make a plan to deal with this situation
2. Who does it affect?
Anyone can be a victim of domestic abuse, and it happens in all communities to people of all backgrounds. Most domestic abuse happens from men to women; however, abuse happens in all relationships, including from women to men, and between same-sex partners. It also happens between family members.
The impact of domestic abuse can be felt more widely than just one family - it impacts on their wider families, their friends, work colleagues and community. It is not a private issue. All of the agencies listed in this document offer support to all people, unless otherwise stated.
3. Your options and who to contact
a. Making a safety plan
It is important to remember that you do have choices. You can contact any of the agencies in this document for help, information and support.
Making a safety plan can help to protect you and your children now, and in the future. A safety plan would cover:
• A safe place where you can make a phone call, or stay away from the abuser.
• Having a mobile phone that you can always have with you, with credit on it.
• Teaching your children to call 999 in emergencies, or having a signal with your neighbours so that they know when to call 999.
• If it is safe for you to do so, carry a list of emergency numbers with you, or have them saved on your phone.
• Keep money with you, or know where to access some in an emergency.
• Pack an emergency bag for you and your children, and hide it in a safe place.
If you leave, and you have time and it is safe to do so, try to take the following with you:
• Passport
• Marriage certificate
• Keys - car, home, work
• Money, bank details, chequebooks, debit cards and credit cards
• Address book and emergency phone numbers
• Driving licence
• Immigration papers
• Mortgage or rent details
• Benefits information
• Prescribed medications
• Toiletries - soap, shampoo, deodorant
• Family photos, jewellery, your children’s favourite toys
If you don’t feel safe leaving, or planning to leave, this does not mean that you are choosing to be abused. Often, staying can feel the safest, or only, option. Talk to the agencies in this document about how to keep yourself safer if you stay.
b. Help from specialist domestic abuse services
i. Southend Domestic Abuse Support Service
Advice, support and safe accommodation for women and children fleeing domestic abuse. The service also offers support to men and women who are experiencing or who have fled domestic abuse and wish to remain in their own homes.
Call: 01702 618026 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm, and out of hours in an emergency)
ii. SOS Domestic Abuse Projects
SOS Domestic Abuse Projects offers a drop in service for women experiencing past or present domestic abuse, run by specialist trained staff and volunteers, with advice, support and free counselling if appropriate.
Crèche facilities are available by appointment, and a solicitor is available on the premises weekly.
Call 01702 302333 (Mon-Fri 10am-4pm)
iii. Independent Domestic Violence Adviser
If you report what is happening to the Police, they may give your details to the Southend Independent Domestic Violence Adviser (IDVA). The IDVA service is there to support victims of domestic abuse who are going through the criminal justice system. It offers support and information, and will work with someone throughout a court case, including arranging a pre-trial court visit, and being present with the victim when if they appear in court as a witness.
iv. Victim Support
Victim Support is the independent national charity which helps people cope with the effects of crime. Trained staff and volunteers offer free confidential support and information. Referrals can be forwarded direct from the police if a crime has been reported, but victims can self refer in confidence even if the crime has not been reported. Victim Support offer:
• Someone to talk to, in confidence
• Information on police and court procedures
• Liaison with other organisations on behalf of victims
• Information on compensation and insurance matters
• Volunteers to accompany victims to the police station and to court
Call: 0845 45 65 995 (Mon-Fri 8am-8pm, confidential answer phone outside these hours, local call charge rate)
www.victimsupport.org.uk
v. Essex Police Domestic Abuse and Hate Crime Unit
Domestic Abuse Liaison Officers are available to talk to you, in confidence. They can give you information relevant to your situation. If you are worried or concerned about reporting domestic abuse to the Police, the DALO will be able to advise and support you. They work closely with other local agencies
in order to get the support you need.
Call: 01702 423151 to speak to your local DALO
vi. Men’s Advice Line
A confidential helpline for men experiencing violence and abuse from their partners or ex-partners.
Call: 0808 801 0327 (Mon-Fri 10am-1pm and 2-5pm, freephone)
www.mensadviceline.org.uk
vii. Broken Rainbow
Support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people experiencing domestic abuse.
Call: 0300 999 5428 (Mon and Thurs 2-8pm, Wed 10am-1pm, freephone)
www.broken-rainbow.org.uk
viii. National Domestic Violence Helpline
A confidential helpline service giving women, children and their supporters confidential support and information.
Call: 0808 2000 247 (24-hours, freephone)
www.womensaid.org.uk
www.refuge.org.uk
c. Support for children and young people
Watching or hearing their parent being hurt or frightened can be a terrifying situation for a child. Children will be affected by the domestic abuse, even if they do not witness any violence themselves. They may hear the abuse from another room, and see the effect it has on the victim. They may also feel that it is their fault, be scared that it will get worse, or worry that it will happen to them. Unfortunately, many domestic abusers use violence and abuse against their children as well as their partner, so this worry is very real for many children.
Children will have emotional needs and responses that are not easy for their parent to deal with, and there are specialist services in Southend and nationally that can help children, and their parents. Domestic abuse also happens to young people – it is not just an ‘adult’ issue, and a teenager who has a boyfriend or girlfriend is just as likely to experience abuse as an adult.
Pregnancy can be a very risky time for women; it is a time when domestic abuse can start, or if it is already present in the relationship, then it can be a time when it gets worse. Talk in confidence to your midwife if you are worried.
Anyone can contact Social Services if they are worried for a child’s safety. All information is treated in the strictest confidence. Trained, experienced Social Workers can inform and advise you on what happens when a child is referred to Social Services.
Call: Southend Council Social Services
First Contact Team 01702 534490 (Mon-Fri 8.45am-5.15pm, Emergency Out of Hours Social Care 0845 6061212)
Health Visitors and Community Midwives can also offer support and advice – contact your local GP surgery or health centre for who to contact.
SOS Domestic Abuse Projects Fledglings and Children and Young People’s Community Services
The Fledglings Project is a supervised child and family contact centre offering help and support to families around child contact arrangements.
Offers a range of services for children and young people and their parents /carers affected by domestic abuse and family separation, including:
• Supervised contact and a range of associated contact support
• One to one and group art therapy for children
• Befriending, advice and advocacy services for children and young people
• Anger, self-esteem and healthy relationships group work for young people
• Fathers-only parenting support groups/one to one programmes
• Mothers-only parenting support groups/one to one programmes
• Mother/Child group work programme to improve parents’ relationships with their children
• Drop-in surgeries at different venues in the community
For more information call: 01702 343868
NSPCC National Helpline
Help, advice and support for adults worried about a child’s safety or welfare.
Call: 0800 800 5000 (24-hour, freephone)
www.nspcc.org.uk
Childline
For children to get help, advice and support about anything that is worrying them.
Call: 0800 1111 (24-hour, freephone)
www.childline.org.uk
The Hideout
Website for children and young people living with domestic violence.
www.thehideout.org.uk
Get Connected
Get Connected is there to help young people (aged 16-25 years old), whatever the problem. They provide a free, confidential helpline that gives you the support and information you need to decide what you want to do next.
Call: 0808 808 4994 (Everyday 1-11pm, freephone)
www.getconnected.org.uk
Connexions
Provides 13-19yr olds with information, support and advice on a range of issues including: domestic abuse, relationships, housing, education, employment and training.
Call: 0808 0013219
www.estconnexions.co.uk
Southend Connexions Support Centre
Connexions provide a wide range of educational and support programmes for young people. Personal Advisers offer one to one support to young people in need of some extra help and Youth Workers help organise a diverse selection of youth groups, activities and experiences. You can find Connexions in secondary schools or by visiting one of the centres listed below.
Southend West: Leigh Youth Centre, Elm Road, Leigh-on-Sea
Call: 01702 478426
Southend Central: Focus Youth Centre, Short Street, Southend-on-Sea
Call: 01702 464315
Southend East: Shoeburyness Youth Centre, Delaware Road, Shoeburyness
Call: 01702 293780
The Lighthouse
Southend services for children with disabilities
Call: 01702 215007
Southend Independent Parent Partnership Service
Supports parents and carers of children and young people who have special educational needs.
Call: 01702 215007
Family Information Service
The first point of call for information about support and services for parents, children and young people in and around the Southend-on-Sea Borough
Call: 01702 392468
Email: FISSOS@southend.gov.uk
www.southendchildcare.org
One Parent Families / Gingerbread
The Lone Parent Helpline provides independent, confidential information and advice.
Call: 0800 018 5026 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm, Weds until 8pm, freephone)
www.oneparentfamilies.org.uk
Young Minds
A UK Charity committed to improving the emotional wellbeing and mental health of children and young people and empowering their parents and carers.
Call: 0808 802 5544 (Confidential support for anyone worried about the emotional problems or behaviour of child or young person, Mon-Fri 10am-4pm, plus Wed 6pm-8pm, freephone)
www.youngminds.org.uk
Dad’s Space
Dads-Space.com is a website aimed at all fathers and offers an entertaining and no-nonsense approach to parenting advice.
www.dads-space.com
d. Housing options
If you decide to – or have to – leave your home, or you want to try to stay there but for the abuser to leave, there are several options available to you.
i. If you want to stay in your own home
If you want to stay in your home, but you want the abuser to leave, there are options open to you, depending on whether you own the property, or are the sole tenant there. Talk to the Housing Options Team, or to your Housing Association, about these options if you are a tenant. Talk to a solicitor if you own your home.
ii. Sanctuary Scheme
If the abuser has left, and you wish to remain in your home, but are fearful because of security and safety issues, you could be referred to the Sanctuary Scheme. The Sanctuary Scheme is available to all residents of the borough who are threatened with homelessness as a result of domestic abuse. The Scheme provides additional security measures and support to victims of domestic abuse, allowing them to stay in their homes should they want to.
The Sanctuary Scheme is free and voluntary to access, and is accessed via the Housing Options Team at the Council.
Southend-on-Sea Borough Council Housing Options Service
Call: 01702 215002 (Mon-Fri 8.45am-5.15pm)
iii. Staying with family and friends
This may be a safe option and offer some support, and it may give you some breathing space while you consider your options. However, it is possible that the abuser will guess where you are, which may cause problems for you and the person you are staying with.
iv. Going to a refuge
Refuges offer emergency and temporary accommodation, advocacy and support to women escaping abuse. They are staffed by women, and their addresses are secret in order to protect the women who stay there. Refuges can help women and their children by:
• Providing a safe and secure environment.
• Offering emotional support and time to talk.
• Giving advice and information about housing, benefits and legal protection.
• Most refuges offer supervised childcare and play facilities.
• Helping resettle families into new homes if they decide not to return home.
Refuges are fully furnished and equipped – all you will need to bring with you are your personal belongings. If you have to leave in a hurry, don’t worry – refuges can usually provide emergency food and clothing and may be able to arrange for you to return home later with police protection to collect the items you need.
The National Domestic Violence Helpline keeps an up to date list of all refuge accommodation across the country, and can be contacted 24 hours a day. If they have space, any refuge across the UK may accept a woman fleeing domestic abuse. The more flexible you can be about where you are prepared to go, the more refuge spaces will be available to you. Do think about how you will get there.
National Domestic Violence Helpline
Call: 0808 2000 247 (24-hour, freephone)
For more information about refuges: www.womensaid.org.uk/virtualrefuge/
v. Private renting
If you are able to, finding a property to privately rent can be a good option, as it means you can get away from the abuser, but keep control over where you are and how you want to live. If you decide to rent privately, you may be eligible for Housing Benefit, in which case you will need to contact the Benefits Department at Southend-on-Sea Borough Council who will advise you on what you are entitled to.
Southend Housing Benefits & Council Tax:
Call: 01702 215001 (Mon-Fri 8.45am-5.15pm)
vi. Support from the Council or your Housing Association
All Councils have a legal duty to give advice and help to homeless people. If you are too frightened to stay in Southend you can apply to any other local authority. As you have left your home due to domestic abuse, you will not be considered “intentionally homeless”. You may have to spend time in temporary accommodation such as a hostel before you are re-housed into more settled accommodation.
Southend-on-Sea Borough Council Housing
Options Service
Call: 01702 215002 (Mon-Fri 8.45am-5.15pm, 01702 466550 out of hours)
Emergency Night Shelter
Call: 01702 602913
South Essex Homes
Call: 0800 833163 (24-hour, freephone)
www.southessexhomes.com
Shelter
Free housing advice helpline.
Call: 0808 800 4444 (freephone)
www.shelter.org.uk
e. Legal options
i. What the Police will do
The Police will deal promptly and positively with any domestic abuse incident they are called to attend. Where necessary the person responsible for the abuse will be arrested. Officers will try to take action that will protect you from further abuse. You can ask the Police to:
• Respond quickly to your call
• Talk to you separately from the abuser
• Arrest the abuser when there is sufficient evidence
• Get you immediate medical treatment if you need it
• Arrange for you to go to a refuge or other safe place
• Keep records of all incidents of domestic abuse
• Accompany you and protect you if you wish to return home to collect your belongings
Call: In an emergency always dial 999; at other times call 0300 333 4444.
ii. Legal options
You can apply to the court for an injunction, which can set out what an abusive partner or ex-partner can’t do, or where they can’t go. For example, they can be instructed not to use threats or violence against you, or not to pester, intimidate or harass you. An injunction might not stop an abuser – but if they ‘breach’ it, by doing anything they have been instructed not to do, then this is a criminal offence and the Police can arrest them immediately.
National Centre for Domestic Violence
The National Centre for Domestic Violence specialises in helping victims of domestic abuse obtain non-molestation and other orders (injunctions) from court to protect them from further abuse. The free service is available to everybody.
Call: 0844 8044 999 (24-hour, local call charge rate)
Text: NCDV to 60777
For the deaf and hard of hearing they offer a Minicom and typetalk service on 18001 08009 702070
www.ncdv.org.uk
Rights of Women
Rights of Women offer a legal helpline, run by female solicitors and barristers, for women needing legal advice about domestic abuse or any other matter.
Call: 020 7251 6577 (Tue, Wed, Thurs 2-4pm and 7-9pm, and Fri 12-2pm)
www.rightsofwomen.org.uk
Community Legal Service
Offers legal advice, information on legal aid, and can put you in touch with a local solicitor.
Call: 0845 608 1122 (local call charge rate)
www.communitylegaladvice.org.uk
iii. Going to court
If the abuser is charged with a criminal offence then you can get support throughout the court process. You can speak to the Police about the IDVA (Independent Domestic Violence Advisor) service. The IDVA can support you all the way through to the trial, including being with you in the court room on the day. The Victim Support Witness Service is based in the court, and will contact you if you are going to attend the trial as a witness. Alternatively you can contact them yourself directly on 01702 391615.
iv. Immigration issues
If you are not sure about your immigration status, your documents (for example, your visa), should tell you how long you are allowed to stay in the UK, and whether you are entitled to work or to claim any benefits. If you have been granted permission to stay in the UK, known as ‘indefinite leave to remain’, then your immigration status is secure and you are entitled to the same benefits and housing support as a British citizen. If you came to the UK with, or to join, the person who is abusing you, and you do not have permission to stay in the UK, you should get legal advice about your situation from a specialist immigration adviser.
If you are an asylum seeker funded by the National Asylum Support Service (NASS), and you are experiencing abuse or violence in the accommodation they have provided for you, you can ask NASS to transfer you to other accommodation where you will be safe. If you do not have indefinite leave to remain, finding a safe place to escape the abuse can be much harder, but the agencies listed below, and the specialist domestic abuse agencies listed in this document, are there to help you.
Refugee Council East of England
Helps refugees and asylum seekers via their advice line.
Call: 01473 297 900 (Mon, Tue, Thurs, Fri 10am-1pm and 2-4pm)
www.refugeecouncil.org.uk
Immigration Advisory Service
A charity providing representation and advice in immigration and asylum law.
Call: 020 7357 6917
www.iasuk.org
Joint Council for the Welfare of Immigrants
Gives advice on immigration, asylum and nationality.
Call: 020 7251 8706
National Asylum Support Service (NASS)
Is a government agency which coordinates housing and financial support for asylum seekers.
Call: 0845 602 1739 (local call charge rate)
f. Money and benefits
Many abusers use money to gain control. This may mean that they:
• Keep control of all the money and benefits, and do not allow their partner/family member to have any, or make them account for any money spent.
• Create debts in the victim’s name, or force them to take out loans or credit cards.
If you are thinking about leaving, then you will need to think about money, and can talk through with any support service what you need to do, for example:
• Ensure that benefits for your family are in your name, in particular child benefit
• Setting up your own bank account, or protecting your money in an existing account or joint account
The national charity Refuge has developed a helpful leaflet called ‘You can afford to leave’ which is on their website: www.refuge.org.uk, if you can’t access it yourself, ask a support agency to print it for you.
Southend Citizens Advice Bureau
For advice and information about all subjects including housing, family law, child support agency, benefits. All CAB services are free, confidential, impartial, and independent.
Open Mon-Fri 10am-4pm.
Call: 01702 610610 (The telephone is only answered when resources allow, and a full advice service is not given on this number.)
Visit: 1 Church Road, Southend-on-Sea SS1 2AL
www.adviceguide.org.uk (Open Mon-Fri 10am-4pm; until 2.30pm for gateway assessments)
Southend Housing Benefits & Council Tax Office
Call: 01702 215001 (Mon-Fri 8.45am-5.15pm)
Child Benefit Office
Call: 08453 021 444
g. Your health
i. Your physical health
Seek medical attention for your injuries from your GP or the Hospital Accident and Emergency Department. Don’t be afraid to tell the truth about what has happened. Your confidentiality will be respected – even if you want no action taken against the abuser, it is worth getting the reason for your injuries noted in case you decide to take action at a later date. It is important to ensure that any injuries are treated as soon as possible to avoid the possibility of complications at a later date.
ii. Your mental health
An abusive relationship will affect you both physically and emotionally. You may feel tired and run down or depressed and unable to cope. You may feel ashamed of what is happening to you. Although it is difficult, remember that your health is important. Your GP, Practice Nurse or Health Visitor will listen to you and support you.
Samaritans
Offers confidential non-judgemental emotional support for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which could lead to suicide.
Call: 0845 7909 090 (24-hour, local call charge rate)
www.samaritans.org.uk
MIND
The national association for mental health in the UK. The helpline provides advice and support to people who are concerned about their mental health.
Call: 0845 766 0163 (local call charge rate Mon-Fri 9am-5pm)
Saneline
For anyone concerned about their own or someone else’s mental health.
Call: 08457 678 000 (6-11pm every day, local call charge rate)
www.sane.org.uk
British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy
Has details of qualified counsellors in your area.
Call: 01455 883316 (national call charge rate
Mon-Fri 8.45am-5pm)
www.bacp.co.uk
iii. Your sexual health
If you are in an abusive relationship one of the forms of abuse you may experience is sexual abuse; this means forcing or pressurising you to do anything sexual that you don’t want to do. If this has happened, you can talk about it with any of the domestic abuse specialist services listed in this document. If you are also concerned about sexually transmitted infections (STIs) including HIV and AIDS, or contraception, then you can speak to contraception and sexual health services. These are available to all, regardless of age or sex and are confidential and non-judgemental.
Kingsley Ward Centre Contraceptive and Sexual Health Service
Warrior House, 42-82 Southchurch Road, Southend-on-Sea SS1 2LZ
Call: 01702 577110 (Mon-Wed 9am-8.30pm, Thu 10.30am-8.30pm, Fri 9am-5pm, Sat 11am-1.30pm)
Southend Hospital GUM Clinic – Sexual
Health Clinic
Call: 01702 385121 (Women) and 01702 385120 (Men) to book an appointment
iv. Pregnancy
Whether your pregnancy was planned or unplanned, it is important to be aware that this is a risky time for you and your baby. Abusers often ‘get worse’ during their partner’s pregnancy, so it’s important you know how to get support. Ensure your midwife knows what is happening in your relationship – they can offer support throughout the pregnancy, and work with other agencies to try to keep you safe. You may want to talk to someone about the contraception you are using or about your options if you have become pregnant. The Kingsley Ward Centre, listed on the previous page, can help you with all of these decisions.
v. Drugs and alcohol
People experiencing domestic abuse sometimes use drugs or alcohol (or both) to cope with their situation. If you are already getting help from a drug and/or alcohol service, try to tell them about the domestic abuse you are experiencing, so that you can discuss with them ways of keeping yourself safe. They can work alongside a domestic abuse specialist service, to ensure you receive all the support you need.
CRI
A range of services for people with substance misuse problems in Southend
Call: 01702 613392
Community Drug & Alcohol Service (CDAS)
Services for people in Southend with alcohol and/or drug dependency problems
Call: 01702 440550
Alcoholics Anonymous
For anyone worried about their drinking
Call: 0845 769 7555
www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk
Talk to Frank
A national advice service for young people
about drugs and alcohol
Call: 0800 776 600
www.talktofrank.com
Al-Anon
Community resource for families and friends of problem drinkers.
Call: 0207 403 0888
www.al-anonuk.org.uk
h. People with disabilities and vulnerable adults
Almost half of all women with disabilities will be abused at some point in their lives. Men and women with impairments are more likely to be abused by their partner. People with disabilities often live with domestic abuse for longer, because they find it difficult to get the support they need. Abusers – who can include Personal Assistants (PAs) and carers – may use someone’s condition or impairment as part of the abuse.
As well as the domestic abuse agencies listed in this document that can offer you support, listed below are some specialist agencies.
‘Vulnerable adults’ are defined as people who are in need of care services due to mental health needs, disability, age or illness, and are unable to protect themselves against harm or exploitation. This includes people who are in residential care and those living in the community; the abuse could be from a partner, a family member, or a professional, or because an institution is not carrying out its duties properly. If you are being abused, or are concerned that someone is being abused, it is important to tell someone. If you make a report on behalf of someone else, please be aware that it is their right to decline help.
Southend-on-Sea Borough Council Safeguarding Vulnerable Adults Team
Call: 01702 215008 (Mon-Fri 8.45am-5.15pm)
Disability Information Advice Line (DIAL) Southend
The home of Information, advice and support services for the disabled, their carers and families, loved ones, children who are caring, friends, neighbours and parents of children with disabilities.
Call: 0800 731 6372 (freephone)
www.dialsouthend.org
Action on Elder Abuse
Action on Elder Abuse works to prevent the abuse of, and to protect, vulnerable older adults. You can contact them on their confidential helpline run by trained staff/volunteers.
Call: 0808 808 8141 (Mon-Fri 10am-5pm, freephone)
www.elderabuse.org.uk
Respond
Supporting people with learning disabilities, their families, carers and professionals affected by trauma and abuse.
www.respond.org.uk
i. So-called ‘honour’-based abuse and forced marriage
There is a difference between an arranged marriage and a forced marriage. Arranged marriage is an acceptable tradition in many communities, where both families work together to arrange the marriage. However, the decision to get married rests entirely with the two people getting married. Forced marriage is not a religious or cultural issue – it is an abuse of a person’s human rights, and a form of domestic abuse. Forced marriage means that you do not have any choice, and that your family is forcing you to go through with it, often using emotional or physical abuse.
So-called ‘honour’-based abuse is violence and abuse carried out in the name of family or community ‘honour’, when someone is said to have shamed or dishonoured their family or community. However, there is no honour in abuse, and this is a form of domestic abuse. Some people try to defend their behaviour as being part of their culture, but the abuse is a way to control a person’s actions and choices.
The Forced Marriage Unit
The government department dedicated to preventing British nationals being forced into marriage.
Call: 020 7008 0230
www.fco.gov.uk
Karma Nirvana
Support to men, women and couples across the UK victims of forced marriages and ‘honour’ based crimes. Karma Nirvana also runs the Honour Network Helpline, to support victims and survivors of forced marriage and ‘honour’-based violence.
Call: 0800 5999 247
www.karmanirvana.org.uk
Southall Black Sisters
Information, advice, advocacy, practical help, counselling and support to women and children experiencing domestic and sexual violence (including forced marriage and honour crimes).
Call: 020 8571 9595
Ashiana Network (London)
Service for South Asian, Turkish and Iranian women who are experiencing domestic abuse, offering culturally sensitive advice, support and safe housing.
Call: 020 8539 0427
www.ashiana.org.uk
j. Support for survivors of sexual violence and abuse
Sexual violence includes a range of different behaviours, many of which – such as sexual assault or rape, regardless of the relationship in which they take place – are crimes. Sexual abuse or violence can happen to anyone, and in most cases the victim knows the person who has assaulted them. This can be a partner or ex-partner, friend or family member. Sexual abuse is often a component of domestic abuse – for example, partners and former partners may use force, threats or intimidation to engage in sexual activity; they may taunt or use degrading treatment related to sexuality, force the use of pornography, or force their partners to have sex with other people.
Whether you have recently been assaulted, or the abuse happened a long time ago, you can contact these agencies for help. You can also speak to the domestic abuse agencies listed elsewhere in this document.
Rape Crisis Centres provide a range of specialist services for women and girls that have been raped or experienced another form of sexual violence – whether as adults or as children.
www.rapecrisis.org.uk
Survivors UK
For male victims of rape
Call: 0845 122 1201
Rights of Women Sexual Violence Advice Line
This service is run by female solicitors and barristers, and offers free legal advice for women who have experienced sexual assault.
Call: 020 7251 8887 (Mon 11am-1pm, Tues 10am-12pm)
National Association for People Abused in Childhood
A charity providing support and information for people abused in childhood.
Call: 0800 085 3330 (Mon 10am-1pm, 2-5pm, 6-8pm, Tue 11am-1.30pm, 4-6pm, 7-9pm, Wed 12.30-2.30pm, 3-5pm, Thu 11am-1pm, 2-4pm, 6.30-9pm, Fri 7-9pm)
www.napac.org.uk
k. Perpetrators of domestic abuse
Abusers may blame their behaviour on alcohol, drugs, anger, stress or money worries, but these are only excuses – they abuse in order to have power over their victim. If you know someone who you think may be abusing their partner or family member, or if you are worried about your own behaviour, you can choose to stop, and there are agencies to support you to change. Unless someone takes responsibility for their behaviour, they are not likely to change.
Anger management programmes are never appropriate for someone who is a domestic abuser. People who perpetrate abuse in this way choose to behave abusively in order to get what they want and to gain control. Couples counselling is never OK or safe for a couple in which one partner is abusing the other. It is dangerous to force the victim to talk about the relationship in front of the abuser, and also suggests to both partners that they must take equal responsibility, which is wrong. Only the abuser is responsible for their behaviour and for choosing to stop.
Respect
A helpline for men who commit domestic abuse, and for people concerned for someone they know who they think is abusive.
Call: 0845 122 8609 (Mon, Tue, Wed, Fri 10am-1pm and 2-5pm)
www.respectphoneline.org.uk
Essex Change
A project in the community for men who want to change their abusive behaviours.
Call: 01245 258680
l. Other useful services
The Dogs Trust
For information about temporary care of animals for women fleeing domestic abuse.
Call: 020 7837 0006
www.dogstrust.org.uk
Network for Surviving Stalking (NSS)
Network dedicated to supporting victims. If you need help and want to speak to someone directly about stalking and harassment, call the Suzy Lamplugh Trust at the National Centre for Personal Safety.
Call: 0207 0910014 (ask for Extension One)
www.nss.org.uk
Jewish Women’s Aid
Confidential information and support services for Jewish women and their children.
Call: 0800 591203 (Mon, Weds, Thurs 9.30am-9.30pm)
www.somethingjewish.co.uk/community_corner/jewish_womens_aid/
Essex Racial Equality Council
Gives advice and support to victims of racial discrimination, racial violence or racial harassment.
Call: 01702 333351
www.essexrec.org.uk
Chinese Information and Advice Centre
Offers free legal advice and support to disadvantaged Chinese people living in the UK. Services offered in Mandarin, Cantonese, Hakka, Shanghainese, Malay, and Fujian
Call: 08456 131868 (Mon-Fri 10am-6pm)
www.ciac.co.uk
Eastern European Advice Centre
Aims to help socially and economically disadvantaged people of East European origin in their efforts to settle in the UK.
Call: 020 8741 1288 (Every day except Wed 2-3pm)
www.easteuropeanadvicecentre.org.uk
This information document was produced by
Southend Domestic Abuse Forum, Southend Police Station, Victoria Avenue, Southend-on-Sea, Essex SS2 6ES.
Website: www. southendcdrp.co.uk
If you require the text of this document translated please contact: Tel: 0300 333 4444 Or email: domesticabuseforum@southend.gov.uk
All details are correct at the time of printing, November 2009.
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